Travelling abroad can mean new destinations, new people and, potentially, new slang to learn. Now, Grindr has revealed just how often gay slang gets lost in translation — and the results are both awkward and hilarious.
Going on holiday can already come with its fair share of misunderstandings. Different languages, accents and cultural expressions can make even the simplest conversation confusing, but when flirting enters the equation, things can become considerably more complicated.
New research from Grindr has revealed that two in five (41%) Grindr users have experienced gay slang getting lost in translation while travelling abroad.
And rather than admitting they have absolutely no idea what someone has just said, 61% say they have simply pretended to understand and hoped that context would eventually save them.
For anyone who has ever found themselves staring at a message thinking “I have absolutely no idea what this means”, the findings may feel particularly familiar.
Gay slang can get lost before the first date
According to the research, misunderstandings aren’t necessarily happening face-to-face.
More than a third (36%) of respondents said they had experienced confusion over gay slang while messaging on an app, while 17% encountered a language barrier during an in-person conversation.
Another 14% said the confusion happened during a hookup.
Unsurprisingly, these misunderstandings can put a serious dampener on the mood. More than half (53%) of Grindr users surveyed said that a language mix-up can kill the mood altogether.
Yet there is a positive side to the confusion. Almost a third (31%) of respondents said they had picked up a new gay word or phrase while travelling abroad, suggesting that learning the local lingo can become part of the travel experience.
With Grindr users travelling between international destinations including Paris, Rio de Janeiro, New York City, Bangkok, São Paulo and Berlin, there are plenty of opportunities for different languages and queer cultures to collide.
Grindr itself has increasingly positioned its platform as a way for users to connect while travelling, including features such as Roam, which allows users to temporarily place their profile in another location and connect with people there before or during a trip.
Gay slang worth knowing before you travel
To help prevent some of those potentially awkward moments, Grindr has put together a glossary of slang and terminology that travellers may encounter while chatting, flirting or meeting people abroad.
Some of the terms highlighted include:
- Passivo – meaning “bottom” in Spanish.
- Activo – meaning “top” in Spanish.
- Papi – Spanish for “daddy”, which can also be used as a term of flirtation.
- Hospeda – a Portuguese term meaning someone who hosts or can accommodate.
- 1 / 0 – shorthand used in China for “top” and “bottom” respectively.
- Panthi – a South Asian term typically referring to a masculine partner who takes the role of top.
- Kothi – a South Asian queer identity typically associated with feminine expression and taking the role of bottom.
- Jetzt / Gleich – German for “now” and “in a moment”, potentially useful when establishing exactly when a meeting is happening.
- Morbo – Spanish slang describing something kinky, sexually exciting or adventurous.
The terminology highlights just how much queer language can vary between countries and communities — and why assuming that a phrase means exactly the same thing everywhere can be risky.
Grindr also supports a range of languages across its app, with supported languages varying between iOS and Android.
When translation goes very, very wrong
Of course, some of the best lessons are the ones people learn the hard way.
Grindr users shared some memorable examples of slang and translation misunderstandings, including one particularly confusing encounter involving the German word dreier.
“A guy asked if I wanted a ‘dreier’. I heard ‘dryer’ and had absolutely no idea what he was suggesting. Turns out, ‘dreier’ is German for a threesome.”
Another traveller discovered that one Spanish word can result in a rather different set of preparations than expected.
“I thought ‘duchar’ just meant to shower in Spanish, so I thought I knew exactly what the plan was. Turns out, he was talking about douching. Slightly different preparations required.”
And then there was the potentially awkward drink order.
“In Italy, I discovered ‘chinotto’ is a popular soft drink. In parts of Southern Italy, it can also mean a blowjob. Suddenly, ordering a drink felt a lot more complicated.”
Even British slang isn’t immune to confusion.
“I said ‘slay’ and they thought I meant their outfit was so bad they’d killed it.”
Which, to be fair, is probably one of the more wholesome misunderstandings on the list.
Why queer slang matters beyond flirting
According to Grindr’s Sex & Relationship Expert Zachary Zane, language can play an important role in flirting, but travelling can quickly expose the differences between countries and communities.
“Language can make sex and flirting so much hotter, but take that language abroad and things can get messy pretty quickly,” Zane said.
He also shared his own experience of misunderstanding Spanish terminology, explaining that he once thought arriba and abajo meant top and bottom, only to discover he was effectively asking people in Colombia whether they were “up” or “down”.
“Every culture has its own ways of flirting and talking about sex, and figuring those out – awkward misunderstandings included – is part of the fun of travelling,” he added.
Zane also pointed to translation tools within Grindr as one way of making international connections easier when users don’t share the same language.
Grindr has continued expanding its travel-focused features, with its Roam functionality allowing users to explore profiles and chat with people in other locations before arriving.
From Polari to the language of the Grid
For British queer author and playwright Clayton Littlewood, however, queer slang represents far more than funny misunderstandings.
“Queer slang has always been about more than funny words,” Littlewood said.
He pointed to Polari, the coded language historically used by some gay men and other marginalised communities in Britain, as an example of how language could create recognition and connection at a time when being openly gay could be dangerous.
“What’s changed is how quickly that language travels,” Littlewood explained. “Every queer community still has its own linguistic fingerprints, but an expression can now cross the world almost instantly.”
That means travelling can offer an opportunity to experience queer culture through language as well as nightlife, food, music and local communities.
“When you travel, picking up the local lingo isn’t just learning slang – it’s getting a glimpse into the queer culture that created it,” Littlewood added.
American accent takes the crown for flirting
The research also asked Grindr users which accents they find the sexiest when it comes to flirting and hookup talk.
American came out on top, followed by:
- American
- Australian
- Brazilian
- Spanish
- English
So, if you’re travelling abroad and happen to hear an American accent, apparently the language barrier might be the last thing on your mind.
A little local knowledge goes a long way
Ultimately, the research suggests that getting to grips with local slang can be just as useful as learning a few basic phrases before heading abroad.
For Grindr users, that might mean discovering what a particular term means before replying to a message, understanding the terminology used on a profile or simply avoiding an embarrassing misunderstanding once a conversation moves offline.
And while translation mistakes can certainly kill the mood, they can also become part of the story you bring home.
After all, travelling isn’t just about seeing new places. It’s about meeting new people, discovering different cultures and occasionally learning that the word you thought meant one thing actually meant something very different.
So before you head off on your next adventure, it might be worth brushing up on the local lingo.
Because sometimes the most important travel phrase isn’t “where’s the nearest airport?” — it’s “wait, what does that mean?”
The research was conducted by Grindr through an in-app survey of 3,482 Grindr users between 9 January and 9 March 2026. The survey was voluntary and individual responses were kept anonymous.
Grindr says it has more than 15 million average monthly active users and is available across more than 190 countries and territories.
For more information about Grindr’s travel features, users can explore the platform’s official travel and Roam information.
