5 Predators You Meet in a New Office

The professional world can be a jungle, especially if you’re a student fresh out of Uni looking for a job.

Transitioning out of school becomes especially hard when you join a new office. As with any new place, you’re more than likely going to run in to a few characters that rub you the wrong way. To help arm you for the safari expedition that is entering the job market, Verge has compiled our list of the top five potential predators you could meet in the office and how to combat them in a professional manner.



  1. The Patronizer
  • Biological Name: Jerkus Patronizigus
  • Diet: The insecurities of millenials
  • Habitat: At your desk talking down to you or saying “Just leave it, I’ll do it.”
  • Your Defense: This predator feeds off the weakness of its prey. It may seem difficult at first, but if you stand your ground and hold your head high then you no longer become a desirable target for these man-eaters. Just remember that your age is not a disability to your success.





  1. The Boss’s Pet
  • Biological Name: Kiss-assimus Flatteris
  • Diet: Approval from those higher up than you
  • Habitat: Eagerly pacing outside the boss’ office
  • Your Defense: These scavengers are harder to spot, because they refuse to come straight for the kill. They’ll stalk in the grasses of the office until they see the right time to pounce. The best defense for these colleagues is a good offense. Just make sure your work is the best it can be and you won’t need to brown nose in order to succeed.





  1. The Inappropriate Colleague
  • Biological Name: Flirtica Dominatum
  • Diet: Young colleagues that feed their desire to dominate
  • Habitat: Way, way, way too close
  • Your Defense: This is a stealthy predator, and can be a tricky one to deal with. If they’re substantially higher than you on the food chain, it can be easy to avoid confrontation for fear of upsetting the hierarchy. Always remember, it’s more important for you to feel safe and comfortable in your work environment. If you feel things are getting out of hand, talk to someone higher up about getting things resolved.





  1. The Downer
  • Biological Name: Despairylops complainum
  • Diet: negative energy and probably puppy tears
  • Habitat: Sulking behind their computer, complaining about the day’s tasks
  • Your Defense: It’s all about mindset with these little downers. They’re constantly complaining about how they don’t want to do their work; they’d rather go home; this is the worst job they’ve ever had, etc. It might be hard to keep these ones from sucking out all your positive energy, Just remember why you took the job, and know that their bad attitude just makes it easier for the boss to notice your good one.




Handsome narcissistic young man looking in a mirror

  1. The Narcissist
  • Biological Name: Look-at-me-I’m-the-bestimus
  • Diet: the attention of others
  • Habitat: Probably checking their reflection in their computer screen or telling your coworkers about how expensive their new shoes were
  • Your Defense: Much like the downer, the narcissist is a different kind of opposition. They don’t pose a direct threat to your success, but their very existence can cause such a nuisance that it can get in the way of you getting your work done. Just remember, these are scavengers. They scavenge their way around the office looking for attention. If you do not feed them, they will not come.

Transitioning into any new area can be daunting. Sometimes you may feel like there are predators lurking around every corner waiting for you to slip up. It’s all about the mindset. If you believe you will be successful, then you will be. Give yourself some time to get acquainted with your new career. Soon all those hungry predators will seem like nothing more than a figment of your imagination.


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