Never ask your parents how they met. It’s a question you’ll regret asking almost immediately. This is because they spend the remainder of the day boring you to death with stories about how they were introduced by mutual friends (actual mutual friends, not the Facebook sort). They tell you about the crap clothes they used to wear, the hours they spent in dive bars drinking lukewarm beer and listening to bands with bizarre names like Spandau Ballet. According to poppa Cunningham if somebody lived in your postcode, was reasonably good looking and nice to be around you just thought ‘you’ll do’ and that was basically it.
Now things are completely different. First impressions aren’t made by actually meeting a person but by a photo and three-lined biography on Tinder. Your profile is a snapshot of your personality and whilst you think it’s #bantz to behave like a UniLAD, you might soon find your love life resembling an Adele album. With all this in mind I took to Tinder to ask some of my matches what it takes to make a good first impression*. [Spoiler alert: Be respectful. Oh, and you might want to think again before using that photo of you and your mates in the night club]
My first interview was with Tiffany, aged 23. She told me that your gym-selfie isn’t doing you any favours. Nor is the photo of you and the lads in Magaluf:
Q: When you’re swiping through Tinder what exactly is it you look for in a guy?
A: I will be painfully truthful and say I get very caught up in the shallowness of the app and look straight away for someone who is relatively good looking. I’ll then wait to see if the person will actually make an effort and speak to me first. Although there have been times when I have messaged first when something has made me laugh…
Q: Is there anything you find off-putting about Tinder profiles, anything men should completely avoid doing?
A: I hate guys who upload the generic shot of their Maga[luf] holiday. Any weightlifting photos in the gym, photos of them “raving” with sunglasses on in a club. It instantly makes me think you’re a “I LIVE for the weekend” kind of guy.
Q: When you get a match and he pops up with a cheesy chat-up line what are your thoughts? Would you rather a guy just pay you a compliment instead?
A: I get put off when guys send those generic crude messages and I hardly ever waste my time and reply. I hear things like ‘when am I having breakfast at yours?’ a lot, (referring to my name) which was funny the first time I heard it. I am also quite awkward when it comes to compliments…I don’t ever know what to say and it usually results in a boring, closed conversation. I would rather someone made me laugh with an interesting conversation.
Q: People I’ve spoken to say they’re on Tinder just to waste time and that they’re not bothered about meeting anybody. What is your reason for using the app?
A: I originally downloaded the app when I was at university and it was because all my girls were doing it. It was considered a laugh. However I have given a few guys a chance and met up with them because I thought it could progress to something more. The app is shallow and there are a lot of guys on there that only want one thing but I do think there are genuine people looking for relationships too. You can’t let a few bad experiences stop you from developing conversations with new people who may just be very lovely.
My second interview was with Holly, aged 21, originally from Australia said she was sick of hearing unimaginative chat-up lines:
Q: What exactly do you look for in a Tinder photo?
A: Someone remotely attractive and who doesn’t look like a sleaze.
Q: Is there anything in particular about photos apart from looking sleazy that you avoid?
A: Anybody with their top off trying to look like they’re all muscle. Or pouting.
Q: What’s the most common opener you’ve heard?
A: Some cheesy pick up line like ‘Oh you’re Australian, do you mind if I go down under?’
Q: What is it you’re actually on Tinder for?
A: For giggles and to waste time.
My third interview was with Beth, aged 20 who had a particular dislike for photos of Skiing holidays but didn’t mind a chat-up line and clown clothes:
Q: What exactly do you look for in a tinder photo?
A: I swipe right for guys I find attractive. I swipe left if their pictures aren’t up to date. If they only have one picture or if they have a picture of them skiing. That drives me insane!
Q: Do you think pick up lines ever really work?
A: Yeah some of them do. They can be funny and get a conversation going.
Q: What are you on Tinder for?
A: Just to meet new people
Q: Would you rather have a permanent clown face or permanent clown clothes?
Elle, aged 19 was partial to a cheesy chat-up line but majorly turned off by images of cigarette smokers and ostentatious Vodka drinkers:
Q: When you’re swiping through Tinder, what is the biggest turn off about a guys profile?
A: Its definitely a turn-off if they have a picture of them smoking or if it’s a club photo and they’re holding a bottle ‘Belvedere’ vodka. So tacky.
Q: Alternatively, what do you look for?
A: Dark hair, a nice smile and some facial hair.
Q: Do chat up lines ever work? If not, how do you expect a man to behave on Tinder?
A: Some cheesy chat-up lines definitely work if you find the guy really attractive. If you don’t they’re awful! I’ve had some that have been hilarious. Guys should be polite and funny but not crude. I had guys instantly ask me for nudes…there was no ‘hello, how are you?’ but just “Can I have a nude?” no man should ever behave like that on Tinder.
Image sources: Tinder.com / Socialnewsdaily.com